I received a letter to the website today, an honest to god letter. You know, the paper and pen variety. It seems that my comments section is not working, and one of my most loyal readers has complained about that. James, I am on it! I need to post this first, then I will figure out why spam can get through, but not real people. That would, however, explain the lack of comments recently.

Anyhow, James wanted to offer his newly developed 'cut-the-crap' question. Simply ask, "what do you do for fun?" I figure that is a pretty good one. I will test that one out and see where that will lead things.

My good friend Eric painted me yesterday. I lived with him for five years, and I am always happy to support him in his endeavors. He also happens to be one of the few classically trained painters that I know, and at this point he is disturbingly good with his painting, especially with portraiture. At the end of the session I got to watch him fix up the last parts of my face, putting paint here and there to make it all spot on, and I remembered that painting is really a bit magical. It really is magic, a slight of the hand and all of the sudden there is something where there was nothing before.

I know that it is not really magic, but hours and hours of learned technique manifested in a series of strokes made over an hour and a half. Bu still, as I am years and years behind on my 'famous painter' career path, it is still magical in the sense that I cannot do what Eric does, nor can I be bothered to spend the effort to catch up. Hmm, ten years of painting classes, Colin?

I wonder, James, what Eric would say if asked "what do you do for fun?" He perhaps may be one of the few people that I know for whom "what do you do" and "what do you do for fun" are pretty much the same thing. That is sure is one surefire way to cut the small talk and get to the good stuff.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 6:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Over the weekend, I met what must have been all of Christy's family. Her brother got married on Saturday, and accordingly, the Powers clan gathered to celebrate. Coming from a family that is smaller and more geographically displaced, I am not used to a family that is a big as the Powers. So many people to meet, and a surprising number of whom who have read this site. Thanks y'all for reading, it is appreciated.

I did not take many pictures of the wedding, as there were cameras everywhere. I figure why photograph when someone else will? The hired paparazzi, er wedding photographers, spent the day getting up in everyone's business a bit too much—they got me in the middle of dancing foolishly on the dance floor—but their annoying up-close photographic style is bound to make some nice pictures.

I did take a few shots my afternoon activity, tubing. Bob Prokop (a.k.a. Uncle Bob) took a few of us out on the water and dragged us behind the boat in a suped-up inter-tube called the Tsunami Blaster. The goal is to hang on for dear life while you get bumped around the wake behind the boat. We all got tossed around a good bit, and it was a great way to spend the afternoon.

It was a long weekend, but I had a good time. Get that many people together, and there is bound to be a good time. The next big gathering for me will be for my brother, next year around this time, at his wedding in west Texas. It has been a while since all the Allens have mustered. While there will not be tubing, there will be a gun range, and I am pretty darn excited about that.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 9:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For a good while now I have been on a mission to find the perfect question to add a little profundity to small talk. Maybe this is not possible, but it would be really great not to have to spend all that time talking about what do you do and where are you from, as nine times out of 10, I could care less about your job and your home town. I want to know something more interesting about you, something a bit more than that. First impressions are everything right? Let us get to the good stuff, and not talk about what I do for a living.

My latest musing on the cut-the-crap question revolves around the Simpson's. It is, "What is your favorate Simpson's line?" I, for one, have a couple of Homer lessons that I think about far more frequently than I would like to admit. And hands down, the best Simpson's line is "Beer the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." To me, this is something I do not even have to think about.

However, in field testing, this has question has been a dud. I end up with a lot of hmms, D'ohs and I don't knows. Seems that the real lesson from this is that I think about the Simpson's too much. Who knows where the rest of the world is getting their life lessons, but it certainly is not from Spider Pig.

I will keep looking for that perfect question, but until that point, I plan to speed though the basics as quickly as possible.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by Colin J Allen at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If any of you in the tri-state area need to borrow a book, come on over. With the wonderful addition of bookshelves to the house this weekend, that and a few other large pieces of furniture that were finally grabbed out of the maws of Moishe's Storage, the box situation in the house is almost under control.

I am half tempted to give you a tour of the house. If anybody wants a me to make a 'tour-of-the-house' video, please leave a comment. Christy and I are both book aficionados, and it is satisfying to see all the books standing there in their shelves. There are probably some duds that need to go to the out pile, but by in large most of the books will stay. And even though they are on their way out to technological obsoleteness, the wall of CDs proudly stands again.

The house is nearly at a livable point now. All of the refuse has been cornered in each of the rooms, and all of it seems to be my crap. I have to now either find a way to hide the rest or put it into the pile.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 10:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sigh, these boxes just do not unpack themselves. Tomorrow, I will have shelves and desks finally moved out of the storage unit, which will make the putting away of things much easier. I hope it will, at least.

When I packed all this stuff away before my move to Sydney, I thought that it all was quite important to keep. Now, more than a year later, I have no idea what I was thinking. Clothes that I haven't worn since the early 90s. A second amp. A replica samurai sword, burnt during an unfortunate house fire in 2001. Rave pants, from when I dressed up as the scariest thing I could think of. And much more, some of it embarrassing, the rest just things I could certainly live without. If I didn't miss it in Australia, then it is probably going onto eBay.

I am a pack rat. I think that it is a family tradition, something that we all deal with. My parents just moved, and they had the foresight to pare down before they moved to the new place. I, however, have to take all my items out of storage, crap included, up and into my third floor apartment. Yes, my friends help me move a box filled with assorted wires, strings and seat belts. They helped me move the box ominously labeled 'Front Room Crap.' And everyone loves to make fun of my box of toys, which holds my aerodynamic juggling chickens. It may be time to pass those on to anther aspiring juggler. Yeah, I know, nothing says lady-killer like a man who knows how to handle three flying rubber chickens.

My goal is to sell enough stuff to buy a new couch. Before I left, I did have the foresight to give away my couch, a circa 1980s number that, while extraordinarily comfy, was in dire need of a refurbishment to fix all of the holes in the upholstery. Who knows how much I'll get from rave pants and rubber chickens on eBay, but I promise you that it will add up. If I get my digital act together, you will all be able to bid on my bounty. If you live nearby, I will be happy to let you pick up anything you want in the ever expanding 'going out' pile. How about my spare bowling ball? A fake moose head?

Posted by Colin J Allen at 3:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There was some crazy rain in New York this morning. I am happy to be working from home since all the trains were delayed or put out of commission thanks to flooding. The four train was even shut down, which I do not recall happening in the five years I used that line. And despite all the rain, it is not a lick cooler.

A bad commute is nothing compared to my friends Jamie and Chris are dealing with. They are moving out of there place because their basement gets flooded with sewage every time it rains. There was five feet of sewage in their basement in the last big rain a few months back. Five feet. Take a moment to think about what five feet of sewage would look like. If I were to stand in that, it would reach my shoulders. Now, think about how one goes about cleaning that up.

I was abruptly awoken early this morning by a disturbingly close lightening strike. Not fun, yet far better than being awoken by, shall we say, the aroma of rain. Reports just in from Jamie say that there is only three feet this time. Only waist high, better than before, yet still pretty hideous. I was over at their house yesterday before the rains, and now I better understand why Jamie looked up at the clouds with such animosity.

Back when I was growing up, our house had a septic tank. When it rained, you could not use the toilet. If you did, your refuse would start to rise up in the toilet, coming after you, and it was a race to stop the flushing mechanism before the water overflowed. You learn quick how to stop a toilet from working in these sort of situations.

After the inside cans were declared out of order, if you ever had to do a number two, we had this backpacker toilet. Imagine a toilet seat with aluminum collapsible legs attached. You would get all suited up in a rain coat and rain pants since it was still raining, get some TP and a poop shovel and you would head out to the woods to do your business. I remember a number times where I was sitting in the woods, getting soaked while doing my business. It wasn't really funny at the time, but looking back I think it is pretty darn amusing.

Ah pooh stories, why must they be so funny?

Posted by Colin J Allen at 1:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Posted by Colin J Allen at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It happened for the first time yesterday, I had phone jealousy. I was hanging out with some of Christy's best friends last night, and I spied one of them. That oh so pretty iPhone. Beaute, she is. I haven't really felt that desire since the first iPods came out.

It took me playing with one to fully get the concept of the iPhone. It is easy to get the basic concepts of phone and iPod of course, but when I started pressing buttons to have a look around, then I got it. This is not just some phone-iPod combo. I started treating it like a real, honest to God, proper computer. A palmtop, as it were. A computer the size of a pack of Camels, no wait, a computer the size of my mobile. I'm asking this small little beastie to work just like my desktop computer, and by in large it steps up to the task.

What makes this machine beautiful is that I did not notice my fall into the technological rabbit hole. I just picked it up, and a few button strokes later, I am redefining what is means to have a cell phone. Let me put it this way, pre-iPhone, a good phone in my mind was something small with good battery power that gets good reception. Now, I am think that it could be a whole lot more, and I would not be pegged as 'that guy' geeking out on his smart phone.

That said, I am in in no rush to go out and buy one. The current version has some notable problems that need to be fixed, but in about a year I think that Apple will have all the kinks worked out. Until then, I will have to get used to being jealous whenever I see an iPhone.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 3:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)