For those of you who have lucked out and never caught the DIY bug, I feel the need to make clear a few trusims I have learned over the years doing various Doing It Yourself projects. One: they always take longer than you want. Two: they always cost more than they should. Three: you never have the right tools. Four: I hate to admit this, but it is almost always cheaper just to go to the store and buy a replacement.

I once was inspired to build a new CD rack out of wood and some massive six-foot tall threaded rods—which is what a screw is when you take off its head—as the support structure. This was before I had learned the laws of DIY, and in every way this project went broke them. It seemed so simple, just get some wood, scrounge up some threaded rod, and pick up a few big screws to hold everything in its place. It was to be cheap, easily portable, and have a cool, sturdy industrial look when assembled.

Come to learn that threaded rod becomes hard to find at a certain thickness. I had to special order it. Screws prices skyrocket at a certain diameter and they ended up costing more than wood, some ten shelves of it. Lacking a better location, I spent hours in the shower, with the curtain closed, doing the necessary sanding and keeping the dust on me rather than everywhere in the house. I spent two days screwing everything into place on those damn six-foot rods, leaving my arms physically sore for days afterwards. When I moved a few years later, the memory of its assembly stopped me from breaking down the rack.

From start to end, that project took weeks longer than I first envisioned. It cost ten times as much as I thought it should have. I certainly could have used better tools. And yes, if I am honest with myself, I could have bought a factory equivalent item for a quarter of the price of what I spent on supplies and new tools.

I had both learned and broken all the DIY rules with this project. Still, despite the costs, despite the pain, despite all the effort, the end result is a CD rack that is one of my most favorite pieces of furniture.

I write all this to you to confess to you, my reader, that the chair project has been delayed slightly. And supplies costs are more than expected, thanks to the fact that I could only find wood glue in a massive, industry-size tube. I have enough wood glue to last me a decade. But now that I have all the supplies I need, the fixing will commence soon.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 8:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This house that I live in now is furnished, which is a first for me. I've always had a car, or lately, a truck, filled with my junk, and this has always been enough to sustain me. All this junk now sits in the dark in a small room in what could be referred to politely as an up-and-coming Brooklyn neighborhood, eagerly awaiting my return. I am not sure the feeling is mutual.

Down here, I have a far more minimalist lifestyle, simply because I couldn't fit all my clutter into my two massively overweight bags. And while I aspire to the minimalist ideal in my mind, in practice, stuff has always done me well. Things make your life easier. Anyone who actually practices minimalism either doesn't have the space, lacks the money or just throws a lot of things away.

In finding the right place to live for a year we choose the one that came pre-furbished. Why buy a kettle, if it comes with the house? A bed? Chairs? Television? The furbish-ness my home has given me hours and hours of simple and personally satisfying joy. When I start the kettle in the morning for my coffee, I tell you, that sucker is a beaute. And she's free, all I have to do is look after her.

And there is where the rub lies. In signing for this place, we took responsibly over all of this stuff. Christy and I are the guardians of this furbish till we leave, and it is our solemn responsibility to keep the place together. We must protect it all from the evil forces of the world that cause breakage. Unfortunately, I just happen to be one of those entropic forces.

I broke my second chair today. How was I supposed to know that it was going to break in half like that when I stood on it? I mean really, I've stood on many chairs before, and they tend to injure me more than I injure them. I've got scars to prove it. This chair here wooden, nothing really to speak of, but as it's guardian, I feel that it is my duty to fix it. So this weekend, my project is a bit of restoration work. Lots of wood glue and long screws.

The weekend previous, I finished the project of restoring the kettle. I was not about to give up on this simple electronic device without taking it apart and having a bit of a look around. Lessons learned in this project include that Sydney bugs like to hang out beside electrical wires (the warmth, I think), and the electricity down here feels much different than it does in the States. Not sure if that is due to the amperage or the voltage, but I have no plans to look any further in the matter. For the record, I fixed it and the kettle works again like a charm. Thanks to this guilt cloud of guardianship. Things must not break under my watch. That and my proclivity to take things apart.

I am excited to fix a chair that I would have never bought in the first place.

Two of 'em, in fact. The chairs, while not structurally sound when I first met them, have always had the potential for structural soundness. While I feared that the kettle was a goner when it broke, with these chairs, knock on them, they have a high fixablity potential. Anyone in interested in Colin's latest furniture project? I'll take pictures.

While I am on the subject of breaking things, I can't but help but mention that Christy has an amazing ability to destroy headphones. With clockwork regularity, she puts headphones out of commission. It takes, by my count, three months and they are then ruined. I have no idea how she does it.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 8:49 AM | Permalink

It has come to that time here where everyone has realized that I am soon to leave this exotic continent. For the last month, I keep getting ask the big question: When are you leaving? The question is fundamentally an awkward one, a way of asking 'when will I never see you again?' without being too direct about it. It is a conversation I hate to get into, but I can seem to avoid.

Compounding the difficulty in answering this question is the problem that I have not dealt with many important details this moving back to New York. I know where I am going and I have a general timeframe of when I want to be there, but that's about it. Even with the semi-transient lifestyle I live down here, it is bound to be a pain in the ass to get moved out. In my mind, anything that has to do with the upcoming move is something that I don't really want to talk about. Yes, I will get it done, but I consider it is about as fun as my other dark 'to do' item, taxes.

The good news is that nearly everyone here has already asked the question now. That gives me a few months lull before I have to deal with all that sad stuff of leaving this town and all the people I've met here. Few. I better enjoy it. Perhaps it is enough time for me to learn how to surf?

Posted by Colin J Allen at 8:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Big celebrations this weekend down under. This Saturday was Mardi Gras, one of the worlds largest gay and lesbian celebrations in the world. I remain awed by the transmogrification of this holiday from its original intent. Perhaps this is a true postmodern holiday. The whole population of Sydney, it seemed, was on Oxford street checking out the fun and festivities. I took my camera with me and shot a little video summary of the parade. Have a look:

The day after the parade was March 4, the only day of the year that is also a command.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 6:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)