It's fall, ladies and gents. At least it is here in New York. I suppose that Texans and Californians my not not be thinking that the nature has turned the thermostat down, but up here is the first day I felt that unmistakable hunch that it's only going to get colder from here on out.

This is the best time of the year. The decent into winter stirs something up in me, makes me more aware of everything. I guess it's my body trying to suck up as much summer as I can before it all goes away. Bask in the last of the summer sun before it becomes obscured by winter's air. Take it all in before it all goes away.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I really, really want to write about my successful computer upgrade I finished last night, but I know that is probably the last thing that you want to hear. When I have told others what I did, I can see their eyes glaze over and I can watch their mind begin wandering about the room. Suffice it say, that I now have a newly refurbished electric box in my room that is better than my last plastic encased box. The end result is that I am a happier camper. And we all like it when I'm happy don't we?

So let me choose something that is more interesting. Lets take a moment to discuss the movie The Constant Gardner. You should avoid it. It's not worth seeing. I should have known better. If it only had not received a good rating my favorite movie site, rotten tomatoes, I wouldn't have gone.

If you haven't been there the site collects all the reviews out there floating in the ether, then gives a percentage of good reviews. Generally, any movie that gets above 80 percent or higher turns out to be worth seeing. However, periodically the movie reviewer community seems to go through a collective amnesia where they all go to bad movie and write a good review about it. Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith pops to mind as the quintessential example.

I suppose vilifying drug companies and victimizing sick Africans is just what reviewers want to see, even though the the plot resembles an African desert, both desolate and never-ending. What were they thinking? Why would anyone like this rudderless movie?

Lesson learned: Always follow your common sense when choosing a movie.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Did you know that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day?

In the spirit of the holiday, I challenge you to find your inner pirate. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and pull out the spirit of the sea. In fact, I am going to do this right now, for you loyal readers. Let me close my eyes for a second...

Arrrrr! Blast des 'puters! Onl'y li'ly livered land lubbers spend their time staring at glowing boxes! Grap a scabbord and get smartly off the shore. Hop to it, dogs: Thar be leftover catering booty in the break room for plunderin'. Those scalawags in their fine breeches want ye' to move o'er with the scurvy dogs yonder. If ye' don't come back with some fine booty, we be keelhaulin' you next morn!

Hold that elevator, ye whoreson bilge rat!

Posted by Colin J Allen at 5:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My watch has decided that the steady flow of time, second following second following second ad infinitum is something that it no longer wants to represent. My second hand is now stumbling around the clock like a drunken reveler. The amazing thing is, somehow this timepiece of mine still manages to keep the correct time, down to the second.

The second hand now moves four seconds every four seconds. You can watch it as it makes a pit stop on the 28 marker, pauses, and jumps to the 32 mark. It has been a good refresher on my multiplication tables—thank god it's not jumping every 7 seconds.

But how is it keeping the right time? Has my watched switched over to its backup gears, that some brilliant Swiss timeworker put in there in case of emergency? Maybe he was bored with the idea of the second, bored with the length of the second and rigged delicate innards of my timepiece an alternate way to slice time.

I was considering a trip to the watchmaker, but now I think that this change is something I can live with. Who really needs seconds anymore? For accuracy, everything is measured in smaller units and when ever in your live has something actually taken just one second? But with four seconds, now that's a unit that you can do something with.

After the jump, things you can do in four seconds.

10 Things You Can Do in Four Seconds

1. Watch one cut of an MTV video
2. Do a roundhouse kick.
3. Check to see if you have any more email.
4. Write a terse response.
5. Count to 20, very quickly.
6. Run 15-25 meters, depending on how fast you are.
7. Drink a cup of water.
8. Sit back and take a deep breath.
9. Spin 360 degrees in your chair.
10. Pick your nose without anyone seeing.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Google Maps has taken new pictures of New Orleans after Katrina. It's worth checking out, as these probably will not be online for very long.

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=New+Orleans&t=e

Zoom in and it will give you a good picture of how huge this flood is.

Posted by Colin J Allen at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)