What is this, a Super Bowl that you watch for the game and not the ads? Is this what we have come to? Is this all because of one nipple? Come on now people of Madison Avenue. I expect more from you. This was your big day. This was your one chance to prove yourself worthy of interrupting my shows for the rest of the year.

You, like, so failed.

Come on people of Budweiser. You know all I really want to see is another Bud Bowl. And what do you do? You pull out a patriotism ad. Come on guys, why must you do this to me? Thinking about solders makes me want to drink but more in commiseration not celebration. And from that you go on to replacing a Clydesdale with a pig? Have you no shame? Isn't the whole point of the horses is that they are timeless? Iconic? Just give me another Bud Bowl.

Pepsi. I hate you all the more now. Really, I do. Musical cans, lame Pepsi trucks with monster wheels. Ugh.

And my website's host, godaddy.com, let us never speak of that ad again.

The funniest ad wasn't even that funny. Tossing Mc Hammer back over the neighbor's fence was funny, but I have to admit that was a little cold.

Sigh. At least the football is getting better.